San Jose Meditation – I Realized That I Had Been Disguised Myself As “A Kind And Good Person”
Seo Min-ji
The biggest thing that has changed since I practiced meditation is that the anger, irritation, and anxiety that I had always accumulated in my mind have disappeared. Whenever there was something that made me angry or hurt me, I piled it up and I stewed over it until I couldn’t control my rage and sadness. However, as I meditated, I repeatedly brought up such memories and discarded the thoughts and emotions that I held in my heart, so that even when I suddenly remembered those situations, I was able to let it pass without any emotion (no feelings of anger or sadness). I also frequently heard from people around me that I was a kind and good person. And I also thought that I was nicer and more caring than others.
But I realized that I had wanted the people around me to keep viewing me as a kind and good person, so I was disguised myself as a kind and good person while hiding my negative feelings of envy, hatred, and jealousy. In the short span of one week, I was able to discard the mass of suppressed thoughts and emotions. I always wanted to discard them so badly, but just didn’t know how to. It is quite a fascinating and unfamiliar experience. But now I am confident that I can live my life differently than before. I am so grateful to my mother who sent me and my sister to this meditation center.
