For office worker Si Y L., the night was not a time of rest; it was a psychological battlefield. His battle with chronic insomnia began during his second year of high school. Every time he drifted off, people he disliked—usually family members or peers—would haunt his dreams.
Terrified of having another nightmare, he developed a profound fear of falling asleep. Slowly, his sleeping hours dwindled to almost nothing. By the time he entered college, he was surviving on just a one- or two-hour nap every other day.
This is the remarkable story of how a young man whose body and mind were completely deteriorating from a seven-year bout of severe insomnia uncovered the hidden emotional roots of his sleeplessness, canceled his plans to flee the country, and finally found true rest through meditation.
The Descent into Sleeplessness and Resentment
Living on mere hours of sleep a week, Si Y L. naturally lost all motivation for school and life itself. His appetite vanished. Eating only one meal a day, his exhausted body deteriorated, and he lost nearly 10 kilograms.
When his concerned father encouraged him to seek medical treatment, Si Y L. fiercely resisted. His relationship with his father was deeply strained, and he reacted negatively to any advice. He didn’t want to treat a medical condition; what he truly wanted was to escape from his life and from the family members he firmly believed were making him suffer.
The Illusion of the External Escape
Deep down, he was desperately searching for freedom. Hoping to find an outlet, he joined a band, learned musical instruments, and devoured books on religion and history. But no matter how “freely” he tried to live, his heart remained unbearably suffocated.
Feeling entirely unable to adapt to society, he made a final, drastic decision: he would leave Korea and go to Australia on a working holiday visa. Part of him secretly thought, “Maybe I’ll never come back.”
However, just two weeks before his scheduled departure, he decided to try meditation, hoping it would at least calm his exhausted, frayed mind before his long journey.
Confronting the Mind’s Nightmares
For years, Si Y L. carried a heavy victim mentality. He firmly believed that his parents and the people around him were the ones hurting him, constantly “driving nails into his heart.” This was why he felt chronically wounded and why his only instinct was to run far away.
But as he practiced meditation and honestly looked inside himself, a shocking realization brought him to his knees: the exact opposite was true.
The negative emotions and resentments he had been suppressing deep inside were the actual culprits. They were the poison damaging his relationships, and they were the very demons manifesting as nightmares every time he closed his eyes.
He realized that he only remembered what he wanted to remember. He constantly placed unrealistic expectations on others and then felt bitter disappointment when they failed to meet them. Looking back, he saw how incredibly difficult it must have been for his parents to endure his hostility for all those years. Filled with a profound sense of remorse, he began systematically discarding these toxic layers of mind.
The Cure for a Seven-Year Nightmare
After just one week of meditation, the heavy burden of resentment began disappearing. He was finally able to step outside of the painful, narrow perspective he had trapped himself in for so long. He realized that when the mind becomes as vast as the universe, there is no longer anyone who can hurt you—nor anyone you need to feel hurt by.
With this newfound clarity, he canceled his trip to Australia and devoted himself fully to emptying his mind.
The physical results were miraculous. Starting in his second week of meditation, Si Y L. finally began sleeping deeply again. It was the first truly refreshing sleep he had experienced in seven long years. His appetite returned, and his weight gradually normalized.
Today, a year later, he functions perfectly at work, rarely dreams, and occasionally even oversleeps peacefully. The insomnia is nothing but a distant, fading memory.
Si Y L.’s 3 Insights on Overcoming Insomnia
1. Nightmares Are Reflections of Suppressed Emotion “I was terrified to sleep because of the people haunting my dreams. But those nightmares weren’t random; they were direct projections of the resentment and hatred I was suppressing during the day. When you clear your waking mind, your sleeping mind finds peace.”
2. You Cannot Escape Your Own Mind “I thought moving to Australia would cure my suffocation and set me free. But if you run away while carrying a mind full of trauma, expectations, and blame, you will just be miserable in a different country. True freedom is internal, not geographical.”
3. The Victim Mentality Destroys True Rest “As long as I believed everyone else was driving nails into my heart, I was in a constant state of defensive anxiety. Realizing that my own narrow perspective was causing the pain allowed me to finally drop my guard. You can only truly sleep when you feel safe from your own thoughts.”
